Social and emotional development is just as important as intellectual development. Early developmental experiences can affect later incidences of anxiety, depression, and other mental health disorders. Below is a guide to average social and emotional development from birth to age 5.
Birth – 3 months
Babies spend a lot of time getting to know their own bodies. They:
- Suck their own fingers
- Observe their own hands
- Look at the place on the body that is being touched
- Begin to realize she is a separate person from others and learn how body parts, like arms and legs, are attached
Infants are interested in other people and learn to recognize primary caregivers. Most infants:
- Can be comforted by a familiar adult
- Respond positively to touch
- Interact best when in an alert state or in an inactive and attentive state
- Benefit from short, frequent interactions more than long, infrequent ones
- Smile and show pleasure in response to social stimulation
3-6 months
Babies are more likely to initiate social interaction. They begin to:
- Play peek-a-boo
- Pay attention to own name
- Smile spontaneously
- Laugh aloud
6-9 months
Babies show a wider emotional range and stronger preferences for familiar people. Most can:
- Express several clearly differentiated emotions
- Distinguish friends from strangers
- Respond actively to language and gestures
- Show displeasure at the loss of a toy
9-12 months
As they near age one, imitation and self-regulation gain importance. Most babies can:
- Feed themselves finger foods
- Hold a cup with two hands and drink with assistance
- Hold out arms and legs while being dressed
- Mimic simple actions
- Show anxiety when separated from primary caregiver
1-2 years
Children become more aware of themselves and their ability to make things happen. They express a wider range of emotions and are more likely to initiate interaction with other people. At this stage, most children:
- Recognize themselves in pictures or the mirror and smile or make faces at themselves
- Show intense feelings for parents and show affection for other familiar people
- Play by themselves and initiate their own play
- Express negative feelings
- Show pride and pleasure at new accomplishments
- Imitate adult behaviors in play
- Show a strong sense of self through assertiveness, directing others
- Begin to be helpful, such as by helping to put things away
2-3 years
Children begin to experience themselves as more powerful, creative “doers.” They explore everything, show a stronger sense of self and expand their range of self-help skills. Self-regulation is a big challenge. Two-year-olds are likely to:
- Show awareness of gender identity
- Indicate toileting needs
- Help to dress and undress themselves
- Be assertive about their preferences and say no to adult requests
- Begin self-evaluation and develop notions of themselves as good, bad, attractive, etc.
- Show awareness of their own feelings and those of others, and talk about feelings
- Experience rapid mood shifts and show increased fearfulness (for example, fear of the dark, or certain objects)
- Display aggressive feelings and behaviors
Children enjoy parallel play, engaging in solitary activities near other children. They are likely to:
- Watch other children and briefly join in play
- Defend their possessions
- Begin to play house
- Use objects symbolically in play
- Participate in simple group activities, such as singing clapping or dancing
- Know gender identity
3-4 years
As their dexterity and self-help skills improve, 3-year-olds become more independent. Most can:
- Follow a series of simple directions
- Complete simple tasks with food without assistance, such as spreading soft butter with a dull knife and pouring from a small pitcher
- Wash hands unassisted and blow nose when reminded
Children become more interested in other children. They are now more likely to:
- Share toys, taking turns with assistance
- Initiate or join in play with other children and make up games
- Begin dramatic play, acting out whole scenes (such as traveling, pretending to be animals)
4-5 years
At this age, children are more aware of themselves as individuals. They:
- Show some understanding of moral reasoning (exploring ideas about fairness and good or bad behavior)
- Compare themselves with others
4-year-olds are very interested in relationships with other children. They:
- Develop friendships
- Express more awareness of other people’s feelings
- Show interest in exploring sex differences
- Enjoy imaginative play with other children, like dress up or house
- Bring dramatic play closer to reality by paying attention to detail, time, and space
